01-04-2011, 03:14 AM
(01-03-2011, 01:41 PM)Herbert Spencer Wrote: Surely at this very moment Satan is stoking an extra warm inferno as he prepares to welcome George Gollin in residence for perpetuity.
You sound pretty confident about that outcome, Herbert. Have some inside info you would care to share with the class?
We should have a subsection on the great AED posts from the past and present. This was always one of my favorites:
Herb Stempel Wrote:Are you qualified to be a Gollin?
Do you have what it takes to be a Gollin?
A Gollin is an elite intellectual giant. A Gollin has a special moral imperative that neutralizes its own hypocrisy. As a Gollin you will employ your unique ethical sensibilities in combination with your unbounded cerebral powers to identify and destroy your inferiors.
Take this simple quiz and learn whether you are fit to join the ranks of the powerful, the privileged and the intellectual elite.
A friend hands you a chocolate vagina-shaped confection she purchased at the sex fair. You should
a) Laugh and hand it back
b) Eat it
c) Bring it home for mom
Lee Harvey Oswald could assassinate JFK because he was highly skilled in the use of a
a) Periscope
b) Proctoscope
c) Microscope
It's Ash Wednesday. You should
a) Consider it an opportunity to appreciate religious diversity
b) Ignore it, you're Jewish
c) Discuss the dirty papists with mom
Mom offers you a spring roll. You should
a) Determine if it's kosher
b) Not talk with your mouth full
c) Discuss phallic symbolism with mom
There is police activity at the building where your mom works. You should
a) State your worry for mom's safety
b) Express concern about the welfare of the people in the building
c) Ask mom if she smelled bacon when the cops arrived
Grandma and Donald are in the basement. This is the perfect time to
a) Repair condom keychain
b) Wash lipstick stains from clothes
c) Play the suck my dick fuck my ass song for dad
People are making fun of you and your weird family on public internet forums. You should
a) Ignore it
b) Deny false statements, if any
c) Get John Weaver-Hudson and Michael Dean Benton to defend you
Someone challenges your assertions on a public internet forum. You should
a) Ignore it
b) Provide the source of your information, if any
c) First ask if they are challenging your credibility; then if they
persist just say that you don't care to reveal that information.
ANSWER KEY: If you are truly a Gollin you already know all the answers, and don't need an answer key or any quiz to verify your moral and intellectual superiority.