"Don't Get That Degree!"

[Armando Ramos]

John Bear Makes Kollege Kwik

Tuesday, September 24, 2002

...Bear then founded the Millard Fillmore Institute to honor the 13th president’s memory. The Institute awarded doctorates with ornately engraved diplomas on genuine imitation parchment that read, "By virtue of powers which we have invented…" granting "the honorary and meretricious" doctorate "magna cum grano salis"–with a big grain of salt.

Six years later, while studying in London, he tried the same thing on a larger scale. He and some friends created the London Institute for Applied Research and ran advertisements in American publications: "Phony honorary doctorates for sale, $25." Several hundred were sold, presumably keeping the promoters in whiskey and cigars. As Bear wrote, half the world’s academic establishment thought L.I.A.R. was a great gag. The other half felt it threatened life as we knew it. After wearing out the joke, Bear traded the remaining diplomas to a Dutchman for 100 pounds of metal crosses and Ethiopian ear-pickers. (The Dutchman is still selling them–for $100 a piece.)

Honorary Spoof

Monday, Jul. 05, 1971

...Spoofing honorary degrees is the four-year-old avocation of John Bear, 33, a freelance writer, erstwhile adman, and co-inventor of the once popular Beethoven sweatshirt.

...Still, the Office of the Attorney General of California has now advised Bear that it is concerned over the possibility that some day, someone may use a Fillmore doctorate fraudulently. Rather than fight in court, Bear has returned $400 worth of orders.