Uncle Janko Killed in Car Crash

[Don Dresden]

Don, do you think we could arrange to have a couple of cases of "these fine products" delivered to the Hope Lutheran Church around, say, 1:00 pm on Monday?

Not at $55 a "unit." For that kind of money we could get hookers parachuting into the parking lot.

Or how about the Goodyear blimp, displaying "GOOD RIDDANCE YOU BASTARD!" in blinking lights.

Or a sound truck circling the church blasting The Ramones "Glad to see you go go go go goodbye! Glad to see you go go go go goodbye!"

Or all of the above!

I'm sure the 60-member congregation would appreciate the gesture.

It's Monday so you gotta figure about half of them might actually still have jobs they have to go to. Then about half of the rest probably hated the guy too or otherwise wouldn't want to waste a nice afternoon on such trivia. So if you count the janitor and the mailman twice there might only be a dozen people there, tops.

An old fashioned stink bomb ought to be good enough to clear out that lot. Although anybody who would show up in the first place might not notice it.