Who Does This Describe?

[ham]

Where do people go when they need to round up 15 "collaborators" to write their dissertation for them?

Princeton?

let's be straight.
AAA+ universities in no way are a guarantee of AAA+ intellectual production, much like a man riding a Porsche is no guarantee of financial affluence or driving skills: most likely he bought it on credit and most likely he's not Niki Lauda; people with a boat aren't Thor Heyerdahl, either [Heyerdahl became famous for his Kon-Tiki expedition, in which he sailed 4,300 miles (8,000 km) by raft from South America to the Tuamotu Islands.].
'Celebrity faculty' outperforms traditional faculty in terms of absence.
They are most likely busy whoring to secure grants, keeping up with the rat race in publishing and courting the favors of some politically tainted audience (which in turn helps with securing grants and publications ).
Most teaching is done by 'teaching assistants', especially at undergraduate levels, from start to finish.
AAA+ universities in no way mean no botched outcome.