06-21-2025, 03:38 PM
After decades of controversy, humiliation, and legal bills that could have built a new science wing, the administration of UIUC--and Illinois taxpayers--can finally breathe a sigh of relief. The Gollin Crime Family has been officially "retired."
First out the door: Melanie "Mutant Pork Mel" Loots
Cited by the FDA for selling mutant lab animals to the public for food, Loots was known for her virulent anti-Catholic bigotry, referring the churchgoers as "Papists" and mocking Ash Wednesday observances. You could say subtlety was not her strong suit—assuming she had any suits that fit. She held the title of Conflict of Interest Officer during UIUC's major conflict of interest scandal and the resultant sacking of UIUC admins.
The anonymous author of that puff piece seems to have skipped both Freshman Comp and Journalism 101, as the lead isn't apparent until the seventh sentence, and the first six aren't even complete sentences. You don't get the retirement date until the very bottom of the story. Good reasons to remain anonymous—aside from the cringe-worthy subject matter..
The author further neglected to mention any of Mel's above-referenced peccadilloes, apparently to spare her the public embarrassment associated with her decades of incompetence. This also might explain why they did not mention her alleged marriage to convicted ethics violator George Gollin, who somehow made her look like the normal one in the relationship.
Notice the flabby guy in the blue shirt behind her looking at his phone while everybody else is politely pretending to clap. The guy obviously can't wait to GTF out of there, and who can blame him?
And now there goes George "Sphincter" Gollin
Last (and very much least), Gollin has announced he is hitting the road, Jack. At least he put the most important point first in his self-congratulatory screed, although it's a tossup whether he wrote it himself or made some unfortunate TA do it.
https://hep.physics.illinois.edu/home/g-gollin/
Naturally, Gollin left out his extensive résumé of disgrace:
You’d need a spreadsheet and a bar of soap just to keep up.
And so, with their official exits, UIUC closes one of the most embarrassing chapters in its administrative history. Let’s all hope the door didn’t hit them in the ass on the way out—though frankly, it would’ve been a fitting sendoff.
![[Image: blimp001.jpg]](http://www.dltruth.com/gollum/blimp001.jpg)
First out the door: Melanie "Mutant Pork Mel" Loots
Cited by the FDA for selling mutant lab animals to the public for food, Loots was known for her virulent anti-Catholic bigotry, referring the churchgoers as "Papists" and mocking Ash Wednesday observances. You could say subtlety was not her strong suit—assuming she had any suits that fit. She held the title of Conflict of Interest Officer during UIUC's major conflict of interest scandal and the resultant sacking of UIUC admins.
Quote:Dr. Melanie Loots retires after 35 years at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign
![[Image: Melanie%20Loots%20retirement.jpeg?itok=2cbL9X1E]](https://research.illinois.edu/sites/default/files/styles/news_story_medium_600/public/newsimages/Melanie%20Loots%20retirement.jpeg?itok=2cbL9X1E)
...Now, after 35 years of service, the Senior Executive Associate Vice Chancellor for Research & Innovati
on is preparing for her next assignment: retirement….
Melanie’s last day is June 30. ...
Jun 28, 2024
The anonymous author of that puff piece seems to have skipped both Freshman Comp and Journalism 101, as the lead isn't apparent until the seventh sentence, and the first six aren't even complete sentences. You don't get the retirement date until the very bottom of the story. Good reasons to remain anonymous—aside from the cringe-worthy subject matter..
The author further neglected to mention any of Mel's above-referenced peccadilloes, apparently to spare her the public embarrassment associated with her decades of incompetence. This also might explain why they did not mention her alleged marriage to convicted ethics violator George Gollin, who somehow made her look like the normal one in the relationship.
Notice the flabby guy in the blue shirt behind her looking at his phone while everybody else is politely pretending to clap. The guy obviously can't wait to GTF out of there, and who can blame him?
And now there goes George "Sphincter" Gollin
Last (and very much least), Gollin has announced he is hitting the road, Jack. At least he put the most important point first in his self-congratulatory screed, although it's a tossup whether he wrote it himself or made some unfortunate TA do it.
https://hep.physics.illinois.edu/home/g-gollin/
George Gollin Wrote:On June 1, 2025 I retired after 36 years as a professor of physics at the University of Illinois in Urbana Champaign, working in experimental particle physics and higher education policy. ...
Naturally, Gollin left out his extensive résumé of disgrace:
- Convicted ethics violator
- Defendant in multiple defamation, stalking, civil rights, and computer hacking lawsuits
- Serial poster on a gay boy pornographer’s forum
- Frequent collaborator with a convicted civil rights abuser
- Notorious for his public nose-picking, armpit-sniffing, and ass-scratching at seminars
You’d need a spreadsheet and a bar of soap just to keep up.
And so, with their official exits, UIUC closes one of the most embarrassing chapters in its administrative history. Let’s all hope the door didn’t hit them in the ass on the way out—though frankly, it would’ve been a fitting sendoff.