U Phoenix 'On Probation' Soon

[bigfoot]

Many of the students who arrive at UofP are academically running on fumes. They don't have the time and fortitude to attend a public state college, so they turn to the "evil empire"...Phoenix...rotflmao! Many of the students who attend Phoenix crapped out of community college and are unable to fulfill the academic requirements at the local "state" school, as they won't let this "desperate" population cut any corners, on the way to getting the "sheepskin". Phoenix slyly smiles and oozes snake-oil, as they "hiss" into the ear of the student about how speedy and convenient Phoenix is for "dumbbell's"...LOL!, even harder...then they guide the brain-dead neophyte down the primrose path of economic destruction, as they assist him/her in signing on the dotted line for "ALL" those seemingly "FREE" student loans, that Uncle SAM can't wait to "GIVE"...it seems almost to good to be true...and for most...IT IS! The focused, committed students who realize they are now in a world of "shit", grit their teeth and press on, even securing the "less then wonderful" sheepskin. For most though, it becomes an experience that destroys their already fouled up credit and hinders them from ever securing another student loan, that could potentially pull them out of the morass of unemployment and poverty they have wallowed in for much of their "hand to mouth existence". The "grim reaper"...aka Phoenix sits back, cackling over a cauldron of newts and frogs, euphoric in the realization that they have been "PAYED"...the now former student is kicked to the curb and is relegated to eating "crow"...to go along with the hearty slice of "woodpecker pie" that Phoenix so generously served....