Deviant's Dream Death

[WilliamW]

We don't make 'em up.  This is how Oregon's adjudicated anti-Christian bigot and civil rights violator Alan Contreras hopes to die.  Let's hope the good Lord grants him his wish sooner rather than later.

Most want to go living to the fullest
By Bob Welch
Register-Guard columnist

Appeared in print: Thursday, Jul 15, 2010

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After Tuesday’s column about how — given a choice — you’d want to die, many accepted my invitation to respond. A sampling, with thanks for those who shared:

. . .

“The news report would read: ‘Alan Contreras died today at Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Southeast Oregon. According to longtime friend Holly Reinhard, who was with him at the time, he apparently suffered a stroke moments after taking photos of Oregon’s first record of Swainson’s Warbler. He dropped the camera on the bank and fell backward into the Blitzen River. They never found the body.’ ”

— Alan Contreras, Eugene

[Albert Hidel]

Let's all Make-A-Wish, so that little Alan's dream can come true!

"It’s an incredible experience that enriches not just the lives of the children and their families, but often an entire community."


I wish to have a voice.


I wish to be a pilot.


I wish to be a high-fashion model.


I wish to have a stroke and drown in the Blitzen River.

[Ben Johnson]

Have another jelly donut Alan. Your wish is close to fruition. Mind you they will have to cut his ass in half to bury him.

[Virtual Bison]

Maybe he can have his balls eaten off by invasive species of carp. And have a rare heron snack on his pecker!