Gollin Brat To Poland

[Martin Eisenstadt]

Now we know why the Bollin Grat (aka Chlamydia Loots-Gollin) was so busy cleaning up its filthy blogs from the internet--it wanted to win a prize.

And sure enough, it fooled the government clowns who award Fulbright Fellowships. But it looks like a rare case of taxpayer money well spent--anything that even temporarily rids the country of plague, pestilence or gollins has got to be a good thing.

Oberlin Students and Alumna Awarded Prestigious Fulbright Fellowships
Jun. 09, 2011

Five graduating seniors and one recent graduate will spend the next academic year abroad pursuing independent study or teaching English while gaining a deeper understanding of their host countries as members of the 2011-2012 class of Fulbright scholars.

The Fulbright Program, the U.S. government’s flagship international exchange program, is designed to increase mutual understanding between the United States and people of other countries. The program provides participants—chosen for their academic merit and leadership potential—with a one-year opportunity to travel to a foreign country to study, teach and conduct research, exchange ideas, and contribute to finding solutions to shared international concerns.

This year, Oberlin has eight winners out of 19 applicants — a high success rate compared with the national average, says Michael Fisher, Robert S. Danforth Professor of History and a faculty Fulbright program advisor. Of the winners, Andrew Flachs ’11 decided instead to accept a Jacob K. Javits fellowship.

Nationally, an average of 10 percent of applicants from a single college or university receive the fellowship.

“The competition is extremely competitive,” Fisher says. That Oberlin produces so many Fulbrights is attributed to “the high quality of graduating seniors, the value of their proposed works, their thoughtful and persuasive project essays, and the extended advising and support by Oberlin administrators and faculty members.”

Established in 1946, the Fulbright program is the largest U.S. international exchange program offering opportunities for students, scholars, and professionals to undertake international graduate study, advanced research, university teaching, and teaching in elementary and secondary schools worldwide. Approximately 1,500 U.S students receive Fulbright scholarships each year. For more information, visit the Fulbright Program website.

Oberlin’s 2011-2012 winners include:

Charlotte Beers ’11 will study organ and conducting in Germany.

Helen Burns ’11 will teach English in Russia.

Jonathan Doucette ‘11 will teach English in the Slovak Republic.

Cordelia Loots-Gollin ‘ 11 will teach English in Poland.

Elena Rippel ’10 will teach English in Germany.

Katie Thompson ‘ 11 will teach English in Costa Rica.

Theodore Waddelow ’11 will return to Bahrain to study the ancient Dilmun civilization

. . .

Cordelia Loots-Gollin will be an English teaching assistant at a university in Szczecin, Poland. She is graduating with a double major in comparative American studies and gender, sexuality and feminist studies (GSFS). Her honors thesis in GSFS examined the ways that language used by the Centers for Disease Control in its HIV prevention materials possibly furthers systems of marginalization. On campus, she is an HIV peer tester. She has taught German during summer breaks, and she looks forward to improving her Polish language skills.

“I'm very grateful to my advisors, departments and the Fulbright application team for all the support and encouragement they've given me during this process,” Loots-Gollin says. “I'll miss the incredibly supportive environment of Oberlin and the friends I've made here, but I also feel that the past four years have prepared me to start this next adventure.”

After the Fulbright year, she plans to pursue a master’s degree in social work.

[Armando Ramos]

Cordelia Loots-Gollin will be...in Szczecin, Poland.

Nice catch Martin. No doubt the GB is trying to get as far away from its embarrassing parental units as possible...and closer to Danzig! (Gdansk, for the geographically impaired.)

[Don Dresden]

On campus, she is an HIV peer tester.

WTF is that? Sounds like the sort of thing a lesbian says when a guy hits on her.

Fratboy: Hey baby, howzabout a PBR?

Chlamydia: Piss off, I'm a lesbian.

Fratboy: Really? How are things in Beirut?

Chlamydia: No, dumbass, I like girls.

Fratboy: Me too! Sounds like we have a lot in common.

Chlamydia: And I'm an HIV peer tester.

Fratboy: Later.

[Ben Johnson]

She is graduating with a double major in comparative American studies and gender, sexuality and feminist studies (GSFS). Her honors thesis in GSFS examined the ways that language used by the Centers for Disease Control in its HIV prevention materials possibly furthers systems of marginalization.

WTF? That isn't humor?

I was in 2 different hospitals lately. A nurse at the first one asked "Do you have AIDS?" I answered "No" The nurse at the second hospital went into a long speech that for certain treatments it might be necessary to ask me if I have AIDS. What a crock. While I may be hesitant to cuddle up to an AIDS patient, I would be equally hesitant with a tuberculosis patient. Something about fatal communicable diseases.

[Dickie Billericay]

Her honors thesis in GSFS examined the ways that language used by the Centers for Disease Control in its HIV prevention materials possibly furthers systems of marginalization.

Good evening friends and welcome to another exciting episode of “Leave It to Chlamydia.” In tonight’s installment darling young Chlamydia has a problem at school…



Chlamydia: Daddy, I need help with my fucking honors thesis.

Gollum: Did your mother say it was okay to ask me?

Chlamydia: Look, it’s due next week and I haven’t even fucking started yet.

Gollum: Well, you could do what I did, and get 15 friends to write it for you.

Chlamydia: Yeah, and be a fucking laughingstock for the rest of my motherfucking life. Is that the best you can come up with?

Gollum: What’s your topic?

Chlamydia: “The Physics of Cunnilingus.”

Gollum: Oh, I see, well, uh, I really, um, don’t know a lot about that, um…

Chlamydia: Physics?

Gollum: Uh, no, the other, um, err…

Chlamydia: Wait, don’t tell me. You’re tongue-tied? [Sighs] This is a fucking waste of time. I’ll just fucking do what I usually do.

Gollum: Wikipedia? They got 15 people just updating my bio.

Chlamydia: No, ask Mom. I’m sure she knows more than you do about cunnilingus AND physics, you fucking loser.

---

WTF is that?

Something to do with testing perverts and dope addicts for lethal, incurable diseases. Since a "peer" is defined as someone of the same status or group, apparently the testers are also perverts and dope addicts.

Testers and Coordinators

Volunteer HIV Peer Testers, Spring 2011:

(email us at hivtesters@oberlin.edu)


Cordelia (Testing: Tues 8:30-10; Results: Tues)



Cordelia is a second semester senior. Her interests include Polish, cake, cuteoverload.com and testing people for HIV, so come get tested!

http://new.oberlin.edu/office/student-he...nators.dot

Also, http://hivtesters.wordpress.com/testers-...rdinators/

[Albert Hidel]

Cordelia (Testing: Tues 8:30-10; Results: Tues)

Is it sniffing its fingers? Where have we seen that move before? The rotten apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

[Martin Eisenstadt]

Chlamydia: Yeah, and be a fucking laughingstock for the rest of my motherfucking life.

Just like dear old dad. Nice capture of the Gollin patois, as illustrated here. The very person to be teaching English as a representative of the US taxpayer.

After the Fulbright year, she plans to pursue a master’s degree in social work.

And then a lifetime of leeching off taxpayers. Just like dear old dad!

But it looks like a rare case of taxpayer money well spent--anything that even temporarily rids the country of plague, pestilence or gollins has got to be a good thing.

Do the Halfbrights have a division for grownups? Maybe we can nominate The Sphincter for a prize too. He could spend a year in Kenya teaching douchebaggery--the one thing he really is an expert in.

Is it sniffing its fingers?

I thought it was a poster for the Special Olympics.

[ham]

What did I tell you about the world of scholarships? It should be discontinued immediately. It serves no other purpose than fostering party liners. Oh, and another Ashkenazi going back to Poland...call the press. As for teaching English, every f-cking English speaker who has been sober long enough to drive home from the brewery can do that.

[Herbert Spencer]

As for teaching English, every f-cking English speaker who has been sober long enough to drive home from the brewery can do that.

Using that proven Gollin research methodology, the results should be as impressive as those Prof. Palin achieved teaching English to Hungarians...

[Winston Smith]

Please fondle my bum.

Now we know what's going to be in that much anticipated "book" George Shakespeare is getting paid twice to write...it's a fake foreign phrase book!

Gollum needs 15 more people to fondle his bum so he isn't stuck doing it himself...