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+--- Thread: The Old Dog, the Vulture, and the Panther (/thread-930.html)
The Old Dog, the Vulture, and the Panther - old dog - 09-15-2010
Years ago, in a far off land, under what was once probably a tree, lived an old dog -- hard of seeing and long of tooth.
In his youth, he'd been quite a son-of-a-bitch and had been in a lot of fights. Sometimes ran with a pack, slept with the wrong dogs on ocassion, and got the fleas to prove it. Underneath his tree were a pile of bones he'd gathered over the years, and these gnawed bones were the only testimony to his glory days.
One day, as the old dog chewed over some of the bones yet again, a vulture took to the tree. It afforded the vulture a good lay of the land, and the vulture wanted to take over the territory. The vulture, however, was no stranger to the reputation of the old dog, and even though the dog was now almost blind and worse for wear, the vulture knew to keep his distance and wait for an opportunity. So, rather than run the dog out of town, the vulture circled, and waited for his chance.
Off in the distance, the vulture saw a panther. He knew if he circled over the dog, the panther would eventually head over to the tree, find the old dog, and get rid of him. This would free up the tree. So, the vulture circled and waited for the inevitable.
As the panther grew close, the old dog caught his smell. He was nearly blind, but he still had his dog sense of smell. He knew there was a panther nearby. In his youth, he would have made a good show of it and saved his own hide, but those days were gone now.
"Hello there, dinner," the old dog said in the direction the smell told him the panther was.
"Dinner? I think it's the other way around!" the panther boasted.
"Oh, you think so, do you?" the old dog replied.
"You're an old hound."
"See all these bones?" the old dog replied. "That was the last panther who thought like you." The old dog then burped really loudly.
Now, the panther, not being close enough to see more than a pile of bones, could not tell if the bones were fresh or old.
"I can respect that," the panther said. "I can bide my time and eat you another day." He then walked off.
The vulture could not understand, from his high vantage point, what went wrong with his plan for the dog. He flew down to the tree, and said to the old dog, "How did you do that?"
"The panther was stupid. I may be old and nearly blind, but I bluffed him with all these bones. He thought they were fresh, and he left me be. Wisdom over brute force." The old dog was quite happy with himself.
The vulture flew hard and reached the panther, determined to inform him that he'd been deceived by the old dog. He told the panther what the old dog had told him, and the panther, quite angry at being fooled, agreed to let the vulture pick over what of the dog he himself did not take once he made dinner of him.
The old dog smelled the panther and the vulture approach.
"You're done for now!" the panther hollered as he prowled close. "The vulture explained how you fooled me! But I will not be fooled again! Get ready to be my dinner!"
The old dog lazily looked up from the bone he'd been gnawing on for the hundredth time, and said,
"Oh, I see you've met my friend and unwitting accomplice. Thanks, vulture, for leading him back here for me -- this last panther was getting a bit spare."
The panther and the vulture never returned.
RE: The Old Dog, the Vulture, and the Panther - 4Knee Kate - 09-15-2010
Then code enforcement came, declared the tree substandard, unsafe, and a public nuisance, and had it bulldozed.
Animal control came, determined the dog was not licensed, and ordered that it be spayed or neutered and licensed within 30 days. When the dog was not licensed it was taken to the pound and humanely euthanized.
The environmental protection agency declared the panther an endangered species, and determined that the vulture was responsible for the pile of panther bones on public lands. He was fined $500,000 and sentenced to three years in federal prison.
A backfire set by the BLM in a brush clearing operation got out of control, resulting in the immolation of the panther in a 90,000 acre wild fire.
Transients and illegal aliens soon occupied the land. Law enforcement and border patrol agents feared for their own safety, and refused to patrol the area as rival drug cartels battled for control. ACORN registered 20,000 new Democrat voters. Illegal alien activists burned American flags, declared that the land was really part of Mexico and erected a statue of Cesar Chavez. Muslims constructed a 50,000 square foot mosque.
And nobody noticed because it was finale week on Dancing With The Stars and everyone wanted to see who won the coveted mirror ball trophy.
RE: The Old Dog, the Vulture, and the Panther - Armando Ramos - 09-15-2010
4Knee Kate Wrote:Then code enforcement came...
Paul Harvey lives.
RE: The Old Dog, the Vulture, and the Panther - old dog - 09-15-2010
Well, that wasn't quite the and-moral-of-the-story-is I had in mind, but it will obviously have to do....
RE: The Old Dog, the Vulture, and the Panther - ham - 09-15-2010
Quote:Well, that wasn't quite the and-moral-of-the-story-is I had in mind, but it will obviously have to do....
Ah, you meant someone as streetwise as that nice banker who sold that elderly couple 100.000$ of Lehman shares and we all know how it ended?
RE: The Old Dog, the Vulture, and the Panther - Yancy Derringer - 09-16-2010
old dog Wrote:Well, that wasn't quite the and-moral-of-the-story-is I had in mind, but it will obviously have to do....
Why doesn't you 'splain it to all us ign'ant folks, Rudyard?
RE: The Old Dog, the Vulture, and the Panther - old dog - 09-16-2010
Yancy Derringer Wrote:old dog Wrote:Well, that wasn't quite the and-moral-of-the-story-is I had in mind, but it will obviously have to do....
Why doesn't you 'splain it to all us ign'ant folks, Rudyard?
Well, I reckon it might mean something like:
"When an old dog decides to sleep his years out by what was once probably a tree and is content to gnaw on now useless bones -- panthers, while dangerous in their own right, might do well to not let vultures pull them close enough to find out if the old dog still has some bite left in him."
Have a nice day now, y'hear?
RE: The Old Dog, the Vulture, and the Panther - Winston Smith - 09-17-2010
Yancy Derringer Wrote:Why doesn't you 'splain it to all us ign'ant folks, Rudyard?
Is that Rudyard or Uncle Ream Us?
RE: The Old Dog, the Vulture, and the Panther - Little Arminius - 09-17-2010
Shouldn't this thread be in the John Bear Wing of the DL Hall of Shame?
